They think that the answer is to exit the relationship. “Both partners often feel they don’t even know what to do next. “I see a lot of partners, especially if they’re in a loving relationship, that really want to make it work,” Ally says emphatically. So that’s pretty high, and of the people that initiate divorce, 80% of them are women.” We want our freedom and we want our orgasm, sex positivity gains visibility, it’s clear that we often don’t readily have language to give voice to our questions, observations and desires. Two out of three of the separate is due to intimacy issues or infidelity in the marriage. And I know from my past history, and what I seeing especially during COVID, we’re at nearly a 60% divorce rate. “As Tony Robbins always says, your relationships are either your greatest pain or your greatest pleasure. Now she is one of eight people who is becoming a master coach for Jaiya’s community. Training with Jaiya is a natural extension of the life, business and fitness coaching that Ally had been doing for 20 years. ![]() “Could there be a similar typing for our erotic selves? Who are we as erotic beings? I was just 18 when I set out to answer that question.” Jaiya’s curiosity led her through extensive client observation and clinical research to discover the Erotic Blueprints™, described on her website as “a map of arousal that reveals your specific erotic language of orgasmic delight.” Yum. “I naturally loved personality typing, tests like Meyers-Briggs, or the Enneagram,” she writes. In this blog post, Jaiya describes the origin story of the Blueprints. She’s been doing this work for over two decades,” Ally told me. It was there that Ally crossed paths with Jaiya, the creator of the Erotic Blueprint Types™. John Amaral, somatic energy practitioner and educator. Drawn to energy healing, Ally attended an event hosted by Dr. “Now I jokingly say I take it from the wet lab to the sex lab,” she laughs. It wasn’t until Ally concluded 28 years as a clinical research scientist that her dream came true. “When I was very young, I wanted to be a sex education teacher,” Ally told me over Zoom, wearing the same blue glasses I had seen on TikTok. ![]() In an effort to crack the case, I emailed Ally to request a conversation. Many of us who have sex still struggle to understand what exactly makes sex great and how to make sex even more pleasurable. However, having sex and having great sex are entirely different activities. Having sex is a function of being alive, as natural as the sky is blue. I was struck by how universal the blueprints are. She shared inspiring stories about clients (with consent) who saved their relationship and transformed their sex lives by applying this knowledge to enhance intimacy. Ally began with an overview of each erotic profile - Energetic, Sensual, Sexual, Kinky and Shapeshifter.
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